Stillborn
by The Marsh Hare
Summary: An Alternate Universe one-shot. A stranger muses over the past he once had with Lily Evans, over what was and never will be.


Disclaimer: I don't own this, unfortunately. If I did own this I would have money. So, obviously I don't own this, because I am broke. Meaning, if you sue me I won't be able to pay you, so I'll have community service (being put in prison.which would be a service to the community). Hmmm.how long winded of me.  
  
He stood there, looking at the woman he had once loved. Still loved. Her nose was running from crying out of pain or shock or a mixture of both, the reason was beyond him caring. Her once luscious red hair had faded; she hadn't taken care of herself after the Incident. She had grown into an old witch within a matter of two years.  
  
His wife had once been the most honorable, noble, and loving person he had ever known. She stuck up for those he put down. Not just to spite him, although she loved to do so, but because she felt that none should be treated differently for who they were. She had been so vibrant. So free. So alive.  
  
The woman that was in a disheveled hysterical state before him was someone else, was an intruder on what had once been a happy marriage.  
  
How did she see him now, behind this shroud of death that he donned so eagerly?  
  
He wondered how different things would have been if the baby hadn't died. If he had had a first breath, if Lily hadn't blame herself.  
  
The hairs on the back of his neck prickled when he thought of his failure.  
  
He had tried to be consoling, but she had been inconsolable. The divorce was made final right before their second wedding anniversary. His pride kept him from calling her to come back, from apologizing for his many failings. His never ending failings as a husband, and a friend. His mother had once told him that his pride would be the end of him, but no one ever fully pays attention to their parents until it's far too late.  
  
Would his son have been a great wizard? A Ministry drone? A Squib? He would have perferred anything to what his son was. His son was dead. His son had been stillborn.  
  
Naturally, knowing who his family was, he was deep into the Dark Arts. Always searching for the answers that life and experience had been unable to offer. When his life had taken a turn for the worse, it was the only thing that kept him occupied. Research and experiments had always had their strange allure over him.  
  
And when a man had approached him, asking for the expertise he had acquired, he accepted the offer with no second thoughts.  
  
Hind sight is 20-20. When the Mark had been burned in his skin, the smell of roasted pork strong in his nostrils, he knew his life would never be the same. Not even then, with the laugh of his new Master ringing in his ears did he realise by just how much.  
  
"Kill the supplier." Had been recquired of him. He had killed so many times in the last 8 months. Countless screams and unspoken pleas for mercy stained acrossed his minds eye was nothing compared to the sight he saw tonight.  
  
Lily, recognition and resignation brightening her eyes, the only remnant of the Head Girl he had asked to marry him by the lake on the last day of school. Those emerald jewels that glazed with tears stared at him from the floor.  
  
"You don't have to," she whispered, her voice cracking.  
  
He winced, he would do what was recquired of him, even if she begged. Yes, he loved her, but she had been so eager to rid herself of him that no amount of love could change the hurt inside. If only things had been different for them.  
  
He raised his mahogany wand.  
  
"Please James!" Lily cried out desperately. His name rang against the kitchen walls.  
  
If only the child hadn't been stillborn.  
  
* * * * * * *  
  
Disappearance Reported  
  
Lily Evans was officially reported as a Missing Witch this morning. Employee, Alastor Moody, owled it into the Ministry when she did no turn up for work for the third day in a row.  
  
Ms. Evans, formerly Mrs. Potter, was the owner of the successful Portkey Creations, which supplied the Ministry and several private buyers with portkeys to undisclosed locations.  
  
A neighbor, Minerva McGonagall, claimed to have heard screams late Thursday evening, but did not report it to the Ministry until their initial investigation of Ms. Evans's home, Godric's Hollow.  
  
A well-respected inside source said there was evidence of a forced break in and Dark Magic performed in an undisclosed portion of the house.  
  
If you have any information on this, please owl The Daily Prophet or Arthur Weasley, Auror in Chief of Missing Magical Beings, Ministry of Magic. --Bertha Jorkins. 


End file.
